Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Introspective Ponderings

Trying to find myself...searching deep within...
Introspective questions arise, Should I change my direction?
Should I continue to be the person I've become through the years?
Alone, Is this a person I could be happy with...
and make another happy?
My thoughts wander to days gone by, looking for answers,
questioning my heart.
Friends, Family, Loves, Changes in my life
have brought me to this point.
I've laughed, I've cried, I've loved, I've hated...
I've won, I've lost.
I have to be myself, whether I'm accepted
in a relationship or not...
Changing or rearranging my beliefs and priorities
is not an option.
Having known love, happiness and fulfilling relationships...
I will continue to move forward, not clinging to the past...
Wallowing in self pity, disheartened with mankind is not an option.
Seeking that love, happiness and new relationships as I
travel life's pathway...
Cherishing those friends, family, loves and changes
that have brought me thus far...
Content with myself as a person, willing to share my life with others,
accepting others for who they are...
Not fearing rejection, disappointment in or by others...
Making my mere existence...once again, life lived to the fullest,
still showered with love and happiness!
Paula
2005


Revised: 2011
Since first writing this, there have been numerous changes in my life and relationships...some good, others not so good.
The one thing that I find solace in is that these are choices, decisions that I have made.
I have learned from mistakes and traveled forward from those decisions that were right.
The individual that I am is the woman I have become...and entered into a relationship that I want to last a lifetime. It has nothing to do with others manipulating my relationships or trying to make me a part of their lives or their family, it is my choice.